15 things your wedding photographer will never tell you
- Pinterest examples and asking me to copy poses makes me cringe
When your photographer is photographing your special occasion (wedding, engagement, boudoir, family session), They are photographing you. Part of my work flow is to get to know you well, and base the photos I take on the feel of who you are. I want to capture you as your best self, not you copying something you saw. I’ll have couples who are more on the romantic side, I can sense that, and we take beautiful romantic photos. I’ll also have couples who are more playful, and we take photos authentic to them as well. You should hire your photographer based on their style, creativity and vision, not by their ability to copy other photographers. However, pinterest is a good source to get a feel for the style of photos you like, not the exact poses. I like to take a look at your inspiration board for just that…inspiration. From there, we do our best to capture your authentic self. When I’m asked to stop my flow and copy a pinterest pin, it just feels inauthentic to me, you, and your love story.
2. It makes me sad when you hire someone to document your wedding based on budget alone.
Listen, I get it. Budgeting for a wedding is hard…really hard. And it can be very easy to get carried away. There are a litany of expenses and it’s difficult to balance it all. Over the years I have realized that your choice in choosing someone to capture your once in a life time day can’t be based on the type of camera they own, or the “deal” they’re giving you. But also on their style, price, reputation, and quality of experience from the very beginning. It’s hard to imagine it now, but your wedding photographer will be the single most important service you book. Once the vows have been made, food has been eaten, and flowers have wilted, the only thing you’ll have left from your wedding is the love you share, and the photos that showcase that love. And to be honest, you get what you pay for. Everyone I have known who has chosen their photographer based on budget alone, has completely regretted their decision. I hope that you would take the time to get to know someone and ensure they are a good fit for you. After all, they’ll be capturing your memories to have forever.
3. I love it when you do an engagement session
This gives me a chance to really get to know you, and gives you a chance to warm up, and get used to working with me. I get an opportunity to spend time with you and get to know your personalities. You’ll get the opportunity to work with me in front of the camera. By the time the wedding rolls around, you’ll be a pro at taking photos. This is especially good for the groom’s who tend to be a little bit nervous. We get to work out all the kinks in the engagement session, plus it gives you amazing photos to display!
4. It’s perfectly OK to not to love being in front of the camera
You mean to tell me you’re not a professional model who knows all your good angles and can pose perfectly?! Pretty much everyone tells me they believe they aren’t photogenic, and that’s OK! This is where I come in! I know how to make you look and feel good. I know how to put you in the best light, best angles, and to authentically and genuinely capture you. It all boils down to trusting your photographer, their experience and vision. I base a lot of my sessions on light, and feel. When the two of those mesh, magic is made. I will give you plenty of direction on how to stand, look, and where to put your hands to make you the most beautiful, flattering, and comfortable.
5. I get really nervous before your wedding or engagement session.
You’re not the only one who gets anxiety before your photo session. Why? Because I care SO much about the outcome. I put all my heart and soul into capturing your day. I strive to capture your day as if it were my own wedding day. Not everything can go exactly to plan sometimes, but I strive to create and capture something you’ll love forever. I mean, after all, it’s up to me to provide your very first family heirloom for you. It’s an honor and privilege but can be high pressure.
6. My stomach drops when you put an instagram filter on your photos or don’t credit your photographer on social media
It’s as if someone has gone to the butcher, picked out the perfect steak to cook, seasoned it to perfection, cooked it with all the love, intention, and expertise in the world, presented it to you on a beautiful platter…and then you smear ketchup all over it. Your photographer spends hours and hours editing your photos, meticulously color correcting to look as beautiful as possible. They are perfect to share as is. Why would you slap a generic “valencia” filter over your photo when your photographer has edited a photo unique to you? On the same token, word of mouth is a photographer’s LIFE BLOOD. If you love your photos enough to post them on social media, that means your photographer did well, tag tag tag them! They’ll love you forever for it!
7. I love ceremonies, portraits, receptions, and first looks that take place outdoors.
I completely understand if all of them can’t be outdoors, (this is Texas after-all), but if at least one of those elements is outdoors, your photos will sing! Natural light is God’s light and is the absolute most flattering to you! Chances are, you’re attracted to my style of photography based on how beautiful everything is lit! I understand if you have a winter wedding that takes place after dark, however let’s have a first look and take gorgeous portraits in the natural light before it gets dark! Taking photos after dark can be done, but it’s not my favorite.
8. Speaking of first looks, I want you to do a first look!
And not just for my own selfish reasons. I want you to do a first look for you. No matter how cool, calm, and collected you are, wedding day jitters happens to the best of us. When you have a chance to see the love of your life before the ceremony, it grounds you and calms your nerves. Plus, in my experience the groom’s give a better reaction to seeing you when he knows not all eyes are on him, and there are no distractions. A lot of brides have always envisioned their groom seeing them when they walk down the aisle which I completely understand. I wanted that too when I got married, and to be honest, I personally regret not having a first look. (My photographer tried to tell me..but I didn’t listen.) On the contrary, I have never met one couple who has done a first look and regretted it. In my experience as well, you have a little bit more control of your day, and we are able to knock out a lot of portraits before the ceremony and before guests arrive so you can scurry on over to your reception and party with your guests who you want to spend time with…instead of taking a ton of time after the ceremony taking photos.
9. I am not God.
Nope! I hope you already know this. No matter how much I want to control the wind, rain, hail, tornadoes, or make the sun stay up longer for our photos. I can’t. That is up to the man upstairs. I really wish I could though! I can however roll with what is given to us and make the best out of it. Shooting in a little bit of rain isn’t as scary as it seems and we can get surprisingly beautiful photos out of it. Your dress will get a little bit dirty, but that’s ok because Y.O.W.O. You only wear it once!
10. I love when you have an unplugged ceremony and tell your guests to put away their phones, ipads, and cameras to be present with you.
This is so important! Having uncle Bob step out in front of me in the aisle to snap a poor quality iPad photo is not only frustrating to myself, but I’m frustrated FOR you! When I miss a moment due to a guest with an iPhone or overly powerful flash, it breaks my heart for you. You hired your photographer to capture your wedding day beautifully, so why not kindly ask your guests to put away their devices so they can enjoy the ceremony, be present with you, and let me document all those beautiful moments. Not to mention, when the wedding is over you’ll have a beautiful website of all your images that you are free to share with your guests!
11. If you see me sitting down, please don’t assume I’m lazy!
Photographing weddings is tough stuff. It’s so much more than showing up with a nice camera and snapping away. The best analogy I have heard is that it’s like running a marathon, carrying 35 pounds, smiling and talking the whole time, while doing calculus in your head to nail your settings. This is Texas, and carrying heavy gear in 100 degrees and 100 percent humidity on your feet for 8+ hours is exhausting. I’m very lucky to even get a bathroom break sometimes. If I’m not photographing, I am most likely reviewing the timeline, checking camera settings, changing a lens, or heaven forbid getting a drink of water! I’m not taking a buzzfeed quiz, I promise. I’m re-setting to continue to give my all to capture your beautiful day.
12. Don’t look at me.
Only look at me when I tell you to. Otherwise, I want to capture moments as their happening. I cringe a little bit when someone is helping a bride get ready and then stops to pose. I want to freeze a moment in time, not force it. Only look at me if I tell you to.
13. Bear with me
You might be hot, you might be cold, it might be windy, you might be sweaty, your dress might be tight, you may be irritated at Aunt Edna, your heels most likely are killing you, you may be in a dark suit standing outside in August in Texas. But bear with me. And trust me. In ten years when you look back on your photos, none of that is going to matter. When we take a breather, look at the big picture, and have a little perspective on all of it, we can produce some amazing results. You don’t want to spend thousands on a photographer just to cut your time short with them because your feet hurt. You won’t care even six months from now. It all boils down to trusting me. We’ve got this!
14. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen can make or break your wedding day
There are two types of wedding parties. Ones who care about you and do everything they can to help your day go smoothly, or ones who get too drunk too soon and/or fuss about petty things making the day revolve around them. Choose your wedding party wisely! I have seen amazing groomsmen diffuse situations, help the groom, are present and available to the day. And I have seen groomsmen get so sh*tfaced before the ceremony that they couldn’t walk and were asked to leave. I have seen bridesmaids, carry bouquets and trains, run errands, keep well meaning but overstepping guests in their place, diffuse family situations that may arise, and be there for their bride. And I have seen bridesmaids make the day all about them, how good they look, and fuss or complain about things that don’t matter that just adds stress to the day. Sometimes things don’t go to plan, and your wedding party can really step up and help. For example: I had a wedding where the caterer got arrested on the way to the wedding, and guess who stepped up and cooked the food? The wedding party. The caterer had already dropped off the food, but when he left, he never made it back cause he went to jail. The wedding party did absolutely everything in their power to make their friend’s day as stress free in such a stressful situation. Having a good wedding party is paramount! Don’t choose them because you feel obligated, follow your heart and trust your instinct in choosing your wedding party.
15. I love you!
Getting to be a part of such an intimate and emotional experience, draws my heart closer to you. You put so much trust in me in capturing your day, and I don’t take it lightly. Getting to meet your families, friends, gives me a glimpse of who you are and I can’t help falling for the couples I get to work with. Every couple I have worked with has left a special imprint on my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for giving me the honor.
This post is inspired by this article by Kristen Kaiser, Illinois based wedding photographer